What to do after an affair? How we choose to become friends.
On Memorial Day my husband and partner in life of 12 years confessed he was having an affair. Our love story is a beautiful tale, fraught with symbolism, happenstance, and so many signs that it was meant to be, our two sons being the biggest proof of that. Though we are both sad about the change, we acknowledge that change is the only option, since repetition has gotten us nowhere.
He has been with me for a very important season of my life and present for the entire evolution of Body Prints. These are a few of the paintings we’ve made together and as a family and we will continue to make more and use this artistic outlet as a way to heal our differences.
This is how we are choosing to move forward with our lives:
Our sons deserve to live in a whole home for as long as each of us can stand it. So they will, we will function as a family and live as part time roommates, you’ll see us together as a family. You will also see us apart from each other and…gasp, dating again. This is all consensual and we are still best friends…I even helped him pic out his Tinder pic and he told me if I should wear a bow in my hair or not when I went out with my girlfriends dancing. We love each other unconditionally and as parents we will continue to put our children first in all of our decisions. Please don’t hate on my husband, we acknowledge that there is an opportunity for our lives to pivot and could use your support to keep this on a positive path. On the night before our would be 7 year anniversary we released each other from the marriage and committed to being best friends and family forever with our children and a few close family members present we gathered on the beach in Tahoe; removed our rings, exchanged friendship bracelets and tossed our love rocks into the lake. It was an emotional moment for us and difficult to do, but my oldest son’s reaction made it clear to me that I was doing the right thing. He was seeing his father face the consequence of “breaking a rule” in marriage and as he voiced his concerns about us finding a new husband and wife and losing his house I knew that our plans to move forward were correct, yes you get to stay in your house, yes we still love each other, yes we will be together as a family. We cannot predict our entire future at this point, but being able to promise him that was comforting for us all.
We even made a “Break Up and Be Friends’ playlist in case you may be going through something similar and looking to tune out or need to healed by music yourself.
How you can help us?
Be kind, all we need is love and time. I failed to realize when I began telling close friends and family of our circumstance that it was going to affect other people emotionally too. So, we are happy to hug it out and help us all move forward.
Also, please come to my Art and Wine Reception at Fountain of Youth for Body Prints on June 30th at 6pm and help me take my love of painting to the next level. I’m doing a Liquid Love sale on all available works on display, over 20 beautiful unique large scale paintings to choose from for under $300 to make a statement in your home! Body Prints paintings are on display the whole month of June, check it out any day.
Fountain of Youth
Wellness Center
Address: 724 S Virginia St, Reno, NV 89501
Call:(775) 964-4888
OPEN Every Day: 10am-6pm J
Stay Tuned…
for more on how we build a “Nest” and an “Escape” house to part ways in a more compassionate fashion.
June 22, 2016 @ 12:40 am
Oh my word this is the most motivating and inspiring post. You have always been a firefly in my world, but that just catapulted you to a whole new level. My heart is in prayer for the best life for your family and your future. You are amazing Apes. It seems as if every step of this transition is being handled so perfectly and the ceremony topped the cake. Your word and the symbolism are impeccable. I am just so touched.